Often, a simple shift in perspective can make en enormous difference in how we react even to the most challenging events in life.
The same disarming event can happen to two people and it will be internalized two very different ways. Why is that? It’s because the filters are different from one another. Let’s use Mike & Jim as an example.
Mike and Jim are both laid off the same day from Micron.
Mike says to himself, “I knew I wouldn’t last here; my parents were right when I was a kid – I will never amount to anything! I am a failure and I am too stupid to do anything right! I cannot provide for my family. I’ll never work again. I always screw things up!”
Jim says to himself, “Finally! A little time off! I am tired of being away from my kids so much. I am marketable, smart and well-connected. Just because I failed at my job doesn’t mean I am a failure. I need a little break anyway. This is a perfect time to re-invent myself and try my hand at what I really like.”
Jim and Mike have different perspectives because their self dialogue was different. Notice how Mike incorporates words, like “never”, “anything” and “always” in his self dialogue. This black and white thinking doesn’t serve him well.
The take away?
What are you telling yourself when challenging things come your way? Could your self-dialogue be your worst enemy? Check yourself. Life is gray. Life is messy. After all, at the end of the day, you are all you got, right? Be kind to yourself – even when the world isn’t. Become your own greatest cheerleader and watch what happens.
~Lisa Schiro, M.S, LPC
K-Counseling.org
Calm mind. Calm body.