Regret

Regret is a term with which we are all familiar. Maybe you acted hastily, maybe you made an emotionally-based decision, maybe you made a self-serving decision, or maybe you were angry. Innocent or not, we make mistakes; right? The issue with regret is rooted in control or lack thereof. Because the mistake was in the past, we are unable to effect change. Since we cannot effect a past (shameful) event, we look to have the control elsewhere¬† –¬† which is how we arrive at the present. Why in the world would a human do that? We are the only species who does this self punitive and shameful behavior. We do this because it is as if we are ‘paying the piper’ over and over until…? When is it the payment finally over? And who decides that? However, like any moving target, when do we actually hit the target? When do we feel like we could tell ourselves, “Okay, now I can feel better; I have sufficiently paid for my sin?”

So, what do we do? How do we move forward? Simple.

Accept the past mistake. Accept that you messed up. Accept that you learned from it (hopefully). Accept that you are flawed human being. Accept you cannot control anything except what you do and say in the current moment. Once you get to this place of acceptance, you will feel liberated. You can be free. Now you get to control how you filter your thoughts. You are now in the role of the ‘chooser’ – which is always available to you – every moment of every day. You are no longer powerless and filled with shame. You can now create relief and create a happy & joyful future. It is exhausting to remain stuck in self-sabotage and self-shame. Stop beating yourself up; it is a waste of our precious time. Now you can be in a space of clarity and open to endless possibilities.

Calm mind. Calm body.

K-Counseling

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