Children

Building a relationship with your teenager may seem challenging at times. There, are, however neurobiological reasons why teens act the way they do. Understanding the premise of this behavior is paramount to building authentic and meaningful relationship with your teen.

MY TEEN DOESN’T THINK THINGS THROUGH!

~Try not to take it personally.

The prefrontal cortex is the mothership of the brain. It takes in data, analyzes the data and determines the actions to take. The teenager, however, has an immature prefrontal cortex, which results in heightened impulsivity, poor judgment, lack of foresight and ineffective problem solving. Keep in mind that the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until at least age 25. Recognizing that this is a real developmental deficit for your teen can help minimize personalization of your teen’s behaviors.

MY TEEN IS SO MOODY!

~This is a very real feeling for your teen; be empathetic.

During adolescence, the emotional center of the brain, called the amygdala, is on overdrive. The amygdala allows us to survive because it is where fear and aggression are housed.

In fact, adults use the thinking part of the brain, the cortical area, to interpret facial expressions, whereas a teen uses the amygdala to interpret facial expressions. All perceptual data is being filtered through the amygdala so a teen cannot help but be moody and personalize his or her experiences. So, it follows, that their interpretations are often misguided.

MY TEEN CAN’T STAY FOCUSED!

~Be supportive and understanding; new neural connections are being made.

Myelination, brain shaping, and neuroplasticity are taking place at a rapid rate during adolescence. Your teen’s brain is physically changing and making new connections through a process called myelination. Myelination is an important phase of brain development, as behaviors that are no longer needed are being weeded out. The pathways that are used more often are being supported by a process called myelination, strengthening the connections in the brain.

For more about how to understand and work more effectively with teens, check out the book “What Works with Teens: A Professional’s Guide to Engaging Authentically with Adolescents to Achieve Lasting Change.”

Cool Facts

Cool Fact:
Frequent complaining shrinks your hippocampus?

My what?

The hippocampus – the area of your brain that enables you to problem solve and be the intelligent human you are.

~ Yes, it does, according a study by Stanford University. And, just when the news couldn’t seem to be worse, the stress hormone, Cortisol, ‘floods’ the brain when you frequently complain. And, according a recent study by University of California Davis, over production of Cortisol impairs your immune system and creates susceptibility to higher levels of the ‘bad’ cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease and obesity. Sustained high levels of this stress hormone makes one vulnerable to strokes.

The Take Away?
~Be a solution finder, not a problem dweller.

Mindfulness

THE MOST SUCCESSFUL ENTREPRENEURS DO THESE TEN THINGS:

1. Using your phone, tablet, or computer in bed. Backlit devices interfere with melatonin production. Turn it off approximately one hour before you desire to fall asleep.

2. Impulsively surfing the Internet. Contrary to popular belief, the human brain cannot multi-task. You are distracting yourself from the state of flow.

3. Checking your phone during a conversation. Be present with your company; you are not the president of the United States.

4. Using multiple notifications. Be brave; turn off all of your notifications so that you can focus on the task at hand. Simply create a habit to check your phone/tablet every hour or two hours instead. This helps you stay present. You are a human being; not a human doing.

5. Saying “no.” One of the best med-free stress relievers available.

6. Perseverating on toxic people or toxic situations. This requires self discipline, but envision a stop sign when you think about a toxic situation or a toxic person and simply ‘stop’ and turn right or left. Bring your awareness to something or someone for which you are grateful.

7. Multitasking during meetings. Multitasking during meetings hurts you by creating the impression that you believe you are more important than everyone else.

8. Gossiping. Never a good idea; not productive; not nice. Great minded people talk about ideas; simple minded people gossip about others.

9. Waiting to act until you know you’ll succeed. Slow down; great ideas take time to percolate.

10. Comparing yourself to other people. Take your power back; when you compare, you are giving your power away.

The take away? Be patient with yourself; making changes takes time. Your brain likes what is familiar; the question is are you productive as you would like to be? If you are not, then maybe a few changes are in order.

If you keep doing what you are doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

~Thank you Entrepreneur Magazine for kicking off this discussion.

Trauma

Unprocessed trauma can cause you to filter your current experiences in a way that doesn’t serve you well. If you have never processed raw trauma, it stays stuck in the right brain. EMDR is the number one treatment for processing trauma. Traditional talk therapy rarely resolves deep-rooted (unprocessed) trauma. You can be free to live the life that you deserve. What are you waiting for?

Panic

Treat your Panic Attacks like a Bully…

First of all…words are powerful, for they modify the perception of this event.

Let’s call the ‘attack’ an ‘episode.’ Stop giving the panic episode the same power as you would being mauled to death by a bear; now *that’s* an attack!

~Do you fear when your next panic episode will occur any moment?

~This episode truly feels ‘out-of-the-blue’ … doesn’t it?

~A panic episode does not lurk in the background, waiting to pounce.

Panic attacks are actually something we decide to initiate when we feel out of control.

~Hang on….stay with me…

It usually begins with a racing, or skipped, heart beat or tightness around the chest, which is misinterpreted by your brain that you are in physical danger-at which point your brain fires of a warning to the body, flooding your brain with stress hormones and preparing your body to fight or flee or paralyze.

Being that the bodily sensations are very intense and unusual, sometimes the unsuspecting person finds himself in the emergency room believing he is having a heart attack.

~Scary?

~You bet it is!  It is downright frightening…

~ It is nearly impossible to visualize or think your way to calm state at this point.

After the panic episode has run its course; it is followed by a prolonged period of general anxiety. Then, one is left with the fear of the fear, like “When is that awful episode going to happen again?”

~So now that you know this valuable information, what is the next step?

The answer may not be what you expect.

~The more you run from anxiety or panic, the worse it gets.

~So, what do you do?
………………………………………………………………………

Treat the episode like a bully. Except when *this* bully comes knockin’ on your door (when your heart begins to race), invite him in; stop running from him. Essentially, you face the bully; let him do his thing and then begin to slowly escort him right back out of your house.

Then begin the countdown, beginning at 25 and picture the image of an upside down triangle…count slowly down to 0.Don’t despair if, when you get to 0, it doesn’t completely disappear. Trust me; continue this process for several times. It works fantastic because it shifts the power to your favor over time.

Note: The way you will know it is successful is you will begin to count quicker with time, in an effort to ‘catch up’ with the episode (bully) leaving.

Anxiety

Cool Fact:

Anxiety causes a contraction in your mind and body.

Acceptance creates a flow again.

 

Accept your anxious thought(s).
~ Here’s how:

1. When you feel anxious, take a very deep belly breath

and say to yourself…“I accept this anxious feeling.”

2. Then release the air with a sigh , haaaaa….

3. Repeat this pattern over and over until you feel 
the transformation within…a physical relief (flow), that is.

The take away?

~Stop running from anxiety; start accepting your anxiety.

Calm mind. Calm body.

Create a New Reality

COOL FACT:

Your subconscious is your book of life. It never rests. It is independent of time or space and keeps you alive every second. It is the source of ideals, dreams and altruistic urges. It is a powerful mechanism you are equipped with that far transcends your intellect (conscious mind). William James, the father of psychology, stated, “The power to move the world is in your subconscious mind.”
Your subconscious cannot take a joke, nor can it discern fantasy from reality. Your subconscious mind is heavily influenced by your self-dialogue. What you believe is what you become. You create your reality.

THE TAKE AWAY?:

You can challenge and modify negative self-dialogue. I challenge you to repeat the following phrase several times throughout each day for 7 days:

“Beauty, health, love, peace and abundance are mine.”*

You will be amazed how this simple technique can manifest into positive results in your life.
*Use visual prompts (stickies) posted around your home/working environment as a simple reminder

Cognitive Restructuring for Anxiety

Think Anxiety isn’t serious?

Think again.

In extreme cases, anxiety negatively impacts how we relate to one another and takes a toll on our health.

Learning about how your thoughts and behaviors fuel your anxiety is the first step. People who suffer from extreme anxiety tend to jump to conclusions and overestimate on a consistent basis.

The power of ‘Positive Thinking’ is not usually effective.
The power of ‘Logical Thinking’ is however.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, (CBT), is the evidence-based intervention that is indicated, in most cases.

Here is what CBT looks like:

1. Identify the trigger
2. Identify consistent illogical patterns of response(s)
3. Identify what purpose that pattern of response(s) has served
4. Challenge the dysfunctional response with a logical response
5. Identify alternative potential outcomes using a modified response
6. Begin to incorporate new responses
7. Pay attention to the mind/body connection
8. Repeat for each trigger

Most of our programs consist of 8 to 15 weekly sessions, Typically, or patient notices improvement in the 5th to 7th session

The Take Away?:

~Change creates perspective.

~Perspective creates insight.

~Insight creates hope.

~Hope can change the world.

Friend: Changing your patterns of response can make all the difference – but it starts with you reaching out. I urge you to call a mental health professional today that specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders. You don’t have to suffer any longer. Calm mind. Calm body.